Rob, Trying to find a way to summarize fifty-four years of sharing life together with you isn’t easy. I still remember well the first time I met you I was nineteen and you were twenty-two and you still had your long hair. You had lived a lot in your short life, from New York City, via the hippie scene in Haight Ashbury and a treehouse in Mendocino to a commune in New Mexico let’s just say you had been around. I on the other hand still lived in my parents’ house and had hardly been out of Colorado. We were total opposites in every way and yet there was something about your eyes and smile that spoke to me. I’m sure it made my parents nervous.
On April 15 you asked me out on our first date, you asked me to marry you on May 15, and we married three months and five days later. One year later we were on our way to the Navajo Reservation. What a trip. Somehow we managed to navigate the ups and downs of life having fun along the way. The memories that have come flooding back into my mind the last several days since you passed have reminded me about how well we really did fit together.
Saying goodbye to you is by far the hardest thing I’ve had to do. For a good part of my life, it’s been you and me and the wonderful family we created together. Your pride in our sons and grandkids was obvious from the start along with your love for me. You were my greatest fan in each of my endeavors. I’m not sure I know how to do me without you. You were not only the love of my life but my best friend.
When I walk past your chair I see your smile and your hand reaching out to give me a high five. If I head to the kitchen I see you cooking one of your outrageous breakfasts. You did love your beans and green chili. Cooking dinner together often got mixed with some crazy dance or conversation while we worked side by side. When I head back to do laundry I see you there creating another silver piece of jewelry. Always smiling as you showed me another new creation. I smile when I think of how often you told me over the years that you had reached the end of the internet.
Our lives weren’t perfect but in my view they were pretty close. The courage and strength you showed in the face of loss and physical challenges inspired me. I wanted to be a more caring and loving person because of you. Our long conversations about your newest discovery about God were something I will cherish. You studied and read theology endlessly but often you would simply smile with a twinkle in your eye and say, “The hippies were right”.
Watching you the last few days of your life I would never have thought you were nearing the end. You talked to anyone who would listen about your sons and grandkids, which was usually every hospital worker who walked into your room as you asked them about their day.
You were so proud of John, Tim, and James and the men they had become, and you would walk away from your times with them and tell me this is what life is all about. I hope you can see them now, for they have been my strength and help. How your eyes lit up each time you saw them or Dylan, Jade, Noah, Fiona, and Liam or heard their laughter. Fireworks, Halloween, Nuggets games, and so many other ordinary days won’t be the same without you.
I will always be grateful for this last year that we had together. You felt so good, and you had the old pep back in your step. You kept sharing your ever evolving and changing faith with me which seemed to get simpler and fresher with each day. Sometimes you would say to me I think I finally understand. “It’s so simple that it takes two of us to mess it up.” To you it was all about Jesus and Jesue was all about loving people.
I was blessed to have your love in my life and your encouragement to simply be me for all these years. Rest well you gave us a taste of heaven on this earth, and I will miss you every day.
I was reminded today about how cruel life can be at times. I often don’t want to look at it…the desperation and need that I sometimes see doesn’t fit into my comfortable, well-ordered life. It makes me feel uncomfortable… alongside of what I often see inside of myself. Indifference to the suffering is easy but facing the reality that they are fellow humans can often be messy and demand something of me. It means I must change. Life is filled with eruptions, and contractions, heartaches and sorrows even when I try to shield my eyes and plug my ears… I still see and hear. And when I allow the emotion to take root, I am moved by the strange sensation of feeling and caring… from the sadness and pain, love and hope can grow. With hope comes strength and action and the knowledge that my life can make a difference.
I want to believe at this special time of year that my life can have purpose. I heard a Rabbi say once that we shouldn’t be concerned with going to heaven when we die but rather how we can bring heaven down to earth while we live. Eternity will take care of itself. I’m beginning to realize the real winners in this life are those who desire to leave their corner of the world better because they have lived. Nothing grand but simply caring enough to be kind and show love.
I’ve decided I want to go into this new year with my eyes wide open. I want to see the world around me as it really is and do what I can to repair my small corner in it
There are beautiful stories of truly great humans all around us. Some are famous but most are not. My cousin passed away this past month. He spent a good many years of his life caring for his wife who had had a stroke. She passed away a year ago. This past Spring he fell and broke his neck. He became a quadriplegic. When I visited with him the week before he died, he told me how he met his wife and how from the first moment he saw her he knew she was the one. (Married over 51 years.) He talked about his kids and his face lit with pride. Not once did he mention the stuff he had acquired but only those he loved. Trapped in a body that didn’t move he smiled, laughed, and got teary eyed with emotion as he told me he was ready to go. I asked him what I could do for him, and he told my visit was enough, A simple answer that opened my eyes to what matters most. We long for someone to care and see our pain. I left our visit with a sense of peace and my eyes open.
A life well lived is not about the money made but about squeezing every drop of life you can by loving and being loved and when you’re finished to leave the legacy of love behind you to those who knew you. Well, done!
Another year has passed, and I’ve reached a new milestone in age. It’s strange how quickly the years have piled up but I’m grateful to have lived each one. The good moments and bad, along with all the ups and downs have helped to make me who I am. I’m hopeful that I’ve changed for the better but only those who know me well know for sure.
I got a kick out of a conversation I had with a few friends the other evening and it had me smiling for a few days and thinking about how much my conversations have changed with age. At some point in life, I went from talking about the fun things I was planning to do, to important subjects like traffic, weather, and aches and pains. Gone are the wild antics of yesterday replaced with often random thoughts pulled from who knows where and inserted at the oddest moments into the middle of another conversation entirely that leave me wondering about myself.
I love it when someone asks me what are my plans are for the weekend? A question which is often followed by a lengthy pause by me as if I might be planning a bit of mountain climbing, bungy jumping, or clubbing with friends when in truth I know I’ll be doing something less intense like reading or writing perhaps. But here’s the deal, even though I’m getting older, my face may look like a road map to the casual observer, and I sport a few bumps and scars seen and unseen, I’m still alive.
I try to stay active. I ride my bike around 10 miles three days a week and do aerobics on a rebounder the other two. Yeah, I know the bike is stationary, but I can’t hurt myself too badly if I fall off and I don’t have to wear a helmet or fight traffic. You see that word has made its way into the conversation again
I have often rushed through life like it’s a race. But life is not a sprint, it’s a journey not always understood, but something to be savored. Yesterday is history and already a part of my story. Tomorrow is a mystery, yet to be written. It is today, at this very moment that I hold in my hand. It unfolds minute by minute and hour by hour, no matter what my plans.
I’m thrilled to have reached my age. Not everyone gets to. I’ve enjoyed watching my sons grow and build lives for themselves. It’s wonderful to watch their children too. The days fly by, the months roll on, and before I can blink my eyes another year will be gone. I want to enjoy as much as I can and be grateful for the few lovely surprises that life dished out along the way.
At times the words thank you seem inadequate for what is in your heart to say to others. The last several months have been filled with many ups and downs for us. But so many of you have supported us with your good thoughts, prayers, and acts kindness that it made a difficult time more tolerable. Thank you.
In a time when it seems like everything is bent on dividing us, it is amazing to watch someone doing all they can to save another’s life. The past several months I have watched my husband go through a lot to continue to live. Those who worked to save his life are true heroes to me. The experience put life into perspective. While the urgent may push the important aside daily, I was once again reminded of the fragility of this life and treasuring those I love.
I’ve often said life is a rollercoaster ride filled with highs and lows sometimes both in the same day. The events of the past few weeks are a perfect example.
After a routine echocardiogram, my husband ended up back in the ICU when one of his stents failed after only a few months and a main artery was 98% closed. (This happens to only about 3% of the recipients of their newest and best stent. (Lucky Rob.)
His cardiologist told him that he needed a double bypass, and the surgeon scheduled it for the next Thursday. But while he waited, he remained in Cardiac Intensive Care as all the blood thinners he was on left his system.
To make a long story short. On the Sunday evening before the scheduled surgery Rob crashed and the dreaded code blue came over the hospital intercom with his room number just as I had arrived back at the hospital. A truly intense moment for me as I waited. Thankfully, the skills of an amazing nursing team were able to restore a pulse within 30 seconds with CPR.
Then he was off to the OR to open blood flow through the heart. Bypass is on hold for now, he has few stories to tell from his wild ride, and I aged a few years, I think. But mostly, I am grateful to still be sharing life with him one day at a time.
When I needed others’ to be there you were and I plan on doing the same. What unites us as people is stronger than what divides us. I hope someday we will understand how closely all of us in the human race are related to one another and we will not believe the lies that would try to divide us.
Research has shown that daydreaming can help creativity. (I smile) I knew it! All the daydreaming I did over the years was really good for me. My mother used to get exasperated with me, my teachers tried their best to call me be back to earth, and in general people didn’t get it, but I did. I never tired of getting lost in the thoughts and pictures in my mind.
As far back as I can remember, I’ve made up stories in my head. I’ve re-imaged the ending to books I was reading, and in general lived with my head in the cloud, or at least my mom told me I did. I seemed to find a voice for all of this when I made my first attempt at writing those stories down.
My daydreaming has taken the form of writing novels. Fifteen over the past ten years, to be exact. There are stories all around us, stories of love, greed, and many that inspire us. Some reveal how ruthless a human can be, while others show someone’s goodness that can bring us to tears. When penned to paper and read, stories can make us desire to be a better human, fill us with courage and resolve, educate and inspire us and often make us laugh. Thank you to all the authors who wrote the books I’ve lived through, and to the readers who gave this budding author a chance. I have to say I love writing and letting my imagination loose to play. For those of you who’ve read any of my books you know, my mind walks down some odd and strange pathways.
Some days my mind is filled with inspired thoughts but on other days it’s ridiculous questions that take center stage like: How many roads does a man need to drive down before he realizes he’s lost and asks for directions? Can tomfoolery be done only by Tom? Or as a friend says you know you’ve drank too much coffee when you can thread a running sewing machine. I’m procrastinating! But I love those days that work in harmony. A day when daydreams and the incubation of ideas came together and make for a great day of writing.
I especially enjoy when a reader tells me how they feel about one of my books. I’m happy to share them when they do. It keeps me motivated and encouraged to keep writing as long as I can.
5 Stars “A Common Thread” is a thrilling mystery that draws readers into a web of crimes and personal entanglements. Jessie Reynolds, the determined protagonist, is a compelling character who guides us through a complex investigation that links a missing girl, a murder, and a potential serial killer.
The collaboration between Jessie and Matt Parker adds depth to the story, and their dynamic is both engaging and relatable. The incorporation of elements like ghosts, an improbable journey, and old enemies from the past adds a touch of intrigue and mystique to the narrative…In summary, “A Common Thread” is a captivating mystery that keeps readers engaged with its intriguing characters and complex storyline.
